I've been pondering on this matter for so long and since I've nobody I'm comfortable with to share this opinion with I'll share it here.

Do we really love our family or is it because its an obligation to love them. Would you sacrifice your life for them based on your true love and cherishment or because they're your family, it's an obligation I have to take. Lets be honest here, I doubt everybody does things for their family based on sincerity, you do it for the sake of doing it. Honestly, if my family is in any trouble I'll help them out due to obligations.

This is another reason why I feel so detached from others. From my view, the people I know are really close to their family, like they have fun family moments together. And I'm here, with my sort of family and we don't do much together. We don't even eat together on a dining table and I am really detached from my family, always cooped up in my room. I feel no emotional attachment towards them as much as how others show it. Now I'm just pondering on how, what and why do I feel like this. I'm going to sound like an ass for saying this but I feel like I am obligated to love them, but not sincerely. Like when one of your sibling is sick, you'll worry over them, if my sister is sick I don't feel a damn thing. Maybe death would strike a chord. Basically everything I do for my family is due to obligations.

I bet many people will think I'm ungrateful and a prick but just take a second and think about it. Well, if you really do love your family sincerely, that's good for you, seriously. I think it's just me. It's weird that I would feel so much emotion over songs or movies but never in real life. Like if somebody is sick, oh he's sick. You want me to sympathize over that as if that will cure him? Like what do you do in this kind of situations?

So, obligated or not I'll just have my family's back and spend the time with them because I know I will regret it once they're gone. I am definitely sure of it. Well if I don't, I say,  I am one hell of a prick. I really hope I dont end up like that. So in the mean time I'll just live the moments.